As I sat on my meditation stool this morning, I realized how much I missed it. It's been more than a few days since I carved away a couple precious moments to sit in silence. With family in town (and a father I helped with some health restoration), taking a few minutes for myself was not happening.
Even when I found myself alone, between the time I dropped my son off at his bus stop, to the time I pulled into an office appointment, my mind was rightfully focused on not getting another darn speeding ticket in a neighborhood that was still foreign to me. Having moved across town just three short weeks ago, I enjoyed navigating new scenes in my vision and the wonder of discovery. However, school zones are all over the place and yes, being a mom I am extra cautious. However they pop out of nowhere and I'm just getting used to them - and going 20 MPH. 🙂
"Oh, there's a yoga studio I should look up. I've always wanted to eat at that oyster bar. Shopping is dangerously close now. Slow down to 20. Slow down."
THE MONKEY BRAIN
These are the kinds of thoughts ruminating in my busy monkey brain. I wish I listened to myself say "slow down" more often. Not deep breathing to bongs and gongs on my phone using my #alltimefavorite app called Insight Timer (it's free and there are no ads, and it's gentle in its encouragement to #meditateverydarnday)!
I finally found myself with a few quiet moments before the teenage son tells me (more like yells across the room), we are out of cereal (Yes, I hate that he eats it. You pick your battles.)
And in those few fleeting quiet moments, I quickly accepted the fact that focusing only on my breath, letting thoughts gracefully and gently pass on through, well, it wasn't going to happen.
I shifted my focus to the sounds coming from the open door I sat in front of. A clean crisp albeit chilly breeze touching my skin. New sounds to me and different than the ones I heard every day for the last eleven years in my prior home in Magnolia. Birds coming over the Lake Washington sound different that birds circling the Puget Sound. The gentle, almost, white noise sounds of the 520 bridge sound markedly calmer, yet not as thrilling and surprising, as the horns of the barges I could hear in the early morning (or middle of the night) a street or two from the Sound.
Okay, listening to sounds was working. Monkeys were starting to settle down in my brain. My back erect and tall yet relaxed. My hands starting to let go of the day's pending to-do list, and opening to accept the day ahead, as-is and without self-judgment for not quite getting everything done as planned.
P.S. I must learn to save space on my daily to-do list for #shithappens or #justbreathwhennothingelseworks
GRATITUDE FLOODS IN
Thoughts of gratitude flooded in and yes, I started to make a mental list. Guess what, I have so much to be grateful for (or should I say "for which to be grateful" (which when I say in my mind, sounds like a fine proper British woman!)
I got to about item number 10 when sounds of "Mom, we are out of cereal" called out into the room.
Unwilling to let annoyance jump into my day so early (geez, it's not even 7:30 am!), I allowed myself to be grateful for a teenage boy, safe at home, wanting something as comforting and basic as cereal (remember, pick your battles), who slept a full night in a warm bed with a full belly.
Can you relate to parenting interruptions?
What can you be grateful for today?
Do you get traffic tickets?
Share in the comments below!
P.S.S. Son, go eat the gluten-free granola I bought you!